You Don't Know How Lucky You Are
by dollys
Summary: As Kevin's best friend, Nazz tries her best to support his relationship with Edd, despite her growing jealousy.


**Author's Note** - Hello! This is my second fanfic. Again, I know my writing needs improvement but I really do hope you like it. Don't forget to leave a review! :-)

Please let me give you some background before you begin reading. This fic is inspired by one of my favorite songs, and I'd really appreciate it if you listened to it while reading my story.

(youtube) /watch?v=MfvcPeWO8yk

I thought it would be interesting to portray Nazz in a way that hasn't really been done before. After watching Ed, Edd and Eddy, I think that Nazz and I have similar personalities and so I can imagine her going through similar situations as I have while growing up. Which is why it's based off of my favorite song, and also why she's dealing with her first heartbreak the same way that I did (when you're 16, everything's a lot more dramatic then it needs to be.) I imagine her lying in bed with a journal, writing these letters while trying not to cry allover the paper. In the very first letter, she's having an anxiety attack.

Now that you're all caught up, please enjoy the story!

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><p>Someone once told me that writing letters and not sending them can help relieve stress, so here it goes..<p>

December 1st, 2010 – 2:27 AM

Dear Kevin,

I hope you never get to see this. I hope you know that you're my best friend, and I love you. I just want you to be happy. And at the time, I thought that everyone would be happiest if I kept my feelings to myself. I didn't think I'd ever have to tell you, because never in a million years had I seen this coming. When you said that you needed a tutor, I didn't think you meant him! This wouldn't even be an issue in the first place if you weren't so damn nervous. I know you're nervous- although I don't have a clue as to why, you've always been easy to get along with. It eats me up knowing that you're going to be the one he's spending time with. Do you even know how you feel about him? You're so dense.. When was the last time you were nervous, Kevin? You probably can't answer that.

Nazz

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December 8th, 2010 – 8:13 PM

Dear Edd,

I saw Kevin give you a ride home today. Kevin can't hide his feelings from me, I know that he likes you. He used to look at me that way, too, back when we were kids and he had those same feelings for me. I wish I had the guts to tell you how I feel.. Do you remember when I broke my leg, and you offered to drive me to school every day until I could drive myself? Do you remember me, showing up at the nurse's office after that cheerleading accident, thinking it was nothing but a bad sprain until you rushed me to the hospital? If it weren't for that accident, I would have never gotten to know you as the incredible human being you are. When I started to develop feelings for you, I thought that it was just a crush and that it would pass as quickly as it came. I just can't get you out of my head. I don't love you. I don't. In fact, I refuse to love you as more than a friend.

Nazz

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December 30th, 2010 – 11:59 PM

Dear Kevin,

I've never seen you so torn up. You told me that you have feelings for Edd, and that you don't know what to do about it. You said that you don't want it to ruin your friendship with him.. You paced around my bedroom for an hour, thinking out loud and asking for my advice. I told you to wait for him to make the first move, but I think I was just being selfish. You and I both know that he isn't going to do that.

Nazz

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January 12th, 2011 – 2:08 AM

Edd...,

Although I may be glad that you showed up to my movie night, seeing you cuddle with Kevin on my couch made my stomach ache. I don't want to see your face anymore. The thought of your head resting on his chest instead of mine makes my head spin. I want to go back in time and rush my own damn self to the hospital. I wish I had never gone into the nurse's office or broke my leg in the first place. That way, you and I would have never had the opportunity to grow close. I wish I only saw you as a friend.. Kevin is my best friend, I love him, and here you are making it so damn hard for me to be happy for him.. It's not your fault.. I just hope that he makes you happy.

Nazz

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January 19th, 2011 – 3:51 AM

Kevin,

I wonder how differently things would have turned out if I had been honest with you from the start.

I know that you care about Edd, and I know you're going to do your best to make him happy. I hope that there will be a day years from n that I can tell you the truth and we can laugh about it. I hope that I've found someone else by then. I'm tired of hurting every time I hear you talk about him.. They say that if you truly love someone, then their happiness is what matters most. Deep down, I still wish I could have been the one he chose. My breathing has never been more shallow, and I've never been more aware of my own heartbeat. Do you think you would've been alright if things hadn't turned out the way they did? Would you feel the same heaviness on your chest? I've been such an awful friend to you, and I'm sorry for being so selfish. I think from now on, I'm going to try and be more honest with you. Do you think you'd ever forgive me if I told you how I feel?

Nazz


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